The Naming of URPers

Apologies to TS Elliot:
The original can be found here

The naming of URPers

The Naming of URPers, a difficult matter,
  It isn't just one of your solstice moot games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
  When I tell you, an URPer might have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there's the name that the muggles don't miss,
  Such as Francis, or Helen, Jani or James,
Such as janet or Christopher, or Bev or Carl Inglis -
  All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they're not onerous,
  Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Jackdaw, Beirn, Branwen, Rexx Magnus -
  But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, an URPer needs a name that's particular,
  A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his posts, all curricular,
  Or organize URP moots, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a list,
  Such as Cursuswalker, Spyder, or Damh the Bard,
Such as Amyrlin, or else Al_Chemist -
  Names appearing only on one URPer's card
But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
  And that is the name that you'll never get told;
The name that no human research can discover -
  But some grove may hold close to them till they are old.
When you notice an URPer in profound meditation,
  The reason, I tell you, is sometimes the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
  Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His esoterical; no, mystical
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.